meh my other computer (the one i use most) is kinda not working at the moment so I wont be on much for a while...prolly about a week longer. Idk. I'll be back soon.

Is the end near? Or just a slow time?

Lately things in Darkness are er...slow...especially when I'm not there apparently. Well sometimes the chat does better without me and other times not so much. I don't know which this instant is. I'm not sure what xat would do with it if it were abandoned. I've heard they'd give it to someone else in consideration of it's age and popularity at the time but if it's deserted?. I don't know I'd kind of hate to see what someone else would do to it. So if I were to leave I don't think I'd come back. Bella wants to use xats to promote Darkness for an hour or so but that would only be a short term solution. There's a lot of people just not coming anymore. Ethan for example said he's taking a break. Really I have no idea what's going on these days. It's all just a blur to me anymore. I just don't know.

Someone asked me to delete Darkness today. Or reset the chat and make it members only and ban everyone. He told me Darkness ruined his life...What can I say to that? How many other lives am I ruining?

You will probably be seeing fewer and fewer blogs from me because , well, let's face it no one wants to read about how I'm feeling or what's going on in my life. No one cares about that kind of stuff. So most of my posts will be consisting of what's going on with Darkness most of the time. If not it's likely to be something I find entertaining for the moment.

That's all for now I suppose.

Sakura

Online Gaming, monies, christmas, and other randomness

Oh yes! It is time indeed for another long blog woo! I know how much you guys just love these!

I know there's a lot of people out there who play games online, often mmorpgs. There's MANY out there. I know of some through darkness users and other friends. World of Warcraft, Dawn of War, cabal online, runescape, even gaiaonline has an mmorpg now O.o... I'm often invited to join in these games but I often don't have time. Many of the popular mmo's are er too expensive anyway. My brother and several darkness users play WoW. However I'm told there's even better games out there that can be played for free. So why pay to play? It's a little odd to me then again I don't have the money to spend. People talk about online gaming a lot but i don't know anything for myself so maybe I'll start accepting the invites I get. idk.

So Christmas is coming up and I'm feeling that lack of money really bad at the moment and still no luck finding a second job. No one is hiring at the moment. My parents are feeling the strain too as are many others. As the temperature goes down the heating bill goes up. Our heating bill as well as many others' have gone up about 30% even though gas has gone down..wtf? I thought I'd try making gifts for people would be less expensive...I was wrong for the most part. I hand painted some ornaments and will be giving those to my extended family i saved money there but making a tote bag for my aunt probably would have cost the same as if i had bought her one and would probably look better. Mother says that people appreciate hand made gifts more than something you just went out and bought. Such may be true for parents but I'm sure my little brother and sister would like a doll or video game or something I bought rather than anything I could make. XD

As for those of you concerned for my health my cold is gone and my fever has gone down a little. I'm still having pain in my lower right abdomen but other than that I'm feeling okay. So no worries k?

How come no one leaves comments? bleh. I opened up the comments so anyone can post not just ppl with a blogger account.

I leave you today with two videos from youtube both have a 12 year old Japanese girl dancer who kicks @$$ seriously..
watch her kick this guys @$$ in fact:


And in this one (at around 3:10) she goes up against Kazumi also a crazy dancer the whole video is rather interesting though so enjoy!

bleh
not too much going on as of late. I feel pretty crummy @_@ I'm still debating if I should go to the hospital or not. I don't have the money but if it is appendicitis as it may seem then that's not good... any way idk er ttyal

Christmas shopping and random stuffs

So it's December and we all know what that means. Christmas. And Christmas shopping. Ah yes capitalism at it's best? I usually enjoy buying gifts for the ones I love. However as Dec. 25 approaches even shopping for groceries becomes quite bothersome. People are effing crazy!! Did any of you see the chaos on Black Friday? That was just sad. For those who have no idea what happened:


So crazy stuff huh?

The best time to go shopping is 3 am when no one else is awake. woo!
More laters. ttyl

poem

I haven't written poetry in a LONG long time. Poetry often goes unappreciated these days anyway. I'm not even certain why I'm sharing this one, I know it's not even that good. I've gotten a bit rusty it seems.

The Glass Box

I see your pain
I see the blood
dripping from your vein
An emotional flood

I reach out to you
But feel only glass
only cold seeps through
trapped i cannot pass

Can you see me?
Do you know I'm here?
You are the one free.
Do you know my fear?

I can't come to your aid
to make you feel better
how was this box made?
I can't escape it not ever

I probably shouldn't be posting a blog in my current state of mind but too dam bad. Not a lot going on at the moment...nothing's really changed...

In Darkness news..it's officially time to retire the pumpkin background I just can't find a new theme or color scheme for the page yet. I kind of have something in mind, I just can't find it. Argh!

In personal news...I am sick. I've caught another cold...T.T I can't breath. It sucks!! I've had a crummy day but at least i didn't have to go to work like this. Yes I need the money but I don't think people could have understood a word I said today. I almost went to the hospital to day for something. I'm okay now but if it happens again i don't know what I'd do. No worries it probably wont.

Anyway my song for the moment: