Happy New Year kids!!! <3

Sakura

stop picturing yourself naked...i can read your mind!

maybe i need a new heart for xmas...

happy holidays!

It's that time of the year!!!

Personally I wouldn't even celebrate if not for my family...Holidays are kinda depressing for me here lately....

I hope everyone else has happy holidays though!!

meh....

it's cold <.<

The Infamous Stamp Collector

HEY! I GOT STAMPS!! lol!! 2 of them. Oh the luck of the Damon. Now, I need an envelope. I think I have one around here somewhere.

I have a lot on my mind so I can't sleep! woo! I would talk about it but most of it is too personal to share with you guys so... :D

My curiosity often gets me into trouble...lol

um....Take care kids!!

~Sakura~

untitled dam it!

Well that's on holiday down! My family didn't drive me crazy woo! It was kind of nice seing some of them again. One of my cousins brought his girlfriend with him...dumbest girl I've ever met...It's a good thing she dyes her hair blonde.

It will be December soon my family is getting into the Christmas season already. The kids helped decorate a tree outside. It was cute. There's decorations all over the table down stairs to be fixed or untangled. I, myself am having a hard time getting into it. Perhaps because it's still early for me. I can feel the seasons start to change and I'm still clinging to the last lights and life of autumn. However, I will be sending out cards in a week or two. I'm not sure I'll be sending as many as last year but if you want one let me know. Who am I kidding? lol Damon is the only one who reads this and he's getting one already.

That's it for now I guess.
~Sakura~

Thanksgiving

Have a Happy one. Always.

Damon

Give Thanks ho3s

Happy Thanksgiving. Here is a random list of stuff I am thankful for:

• The word random
• My heater, my toes are almost thaw now
• Not working on Thanksgiving
• For you...yeah you know who you are ;)
• C.O.P. haha
• Silly emoticons that make me laugh
• um....orange juice because it is awesome
• my cell phone so people can bug me 24/7 no matter where I am ha!
• I'm thankful that I am thankful!

Yeah that's it for now. I'm thinking about another contest for Christmas but different from the last. We'll see Anyway I haven't slept. I was up all night making pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin soup, and peanut butter cookies for my family later today and then I made my father breakfast. I'm sleepy now. Nighty night!

~Sakura~

Thanksgiving and such

Since most of you guys are probably to look even if I put a link here I thought I'd remind you what I posted (late) for Thanksgiving last year. Why? Because it amuses me. I'll post a new one later...maybe. Take care kids.

<----haha it's a rice ball winking at you and giving you the peace sign

~Sakura~

(Started on Thanksgiving day but was not finished)

In honor of Thanksgiving day, even though it's late, I want to mention some things I'm thankful for. I'm really tired so don't mind me if I say something weird.

So here it is a list of random stuff I am thankful for

• My crazy friends all over the world
• My family especially my mother
• My past, good and bad times made me who I am now
• Chris and Darren (Darren's awesome!) lol
• My MANY lovers you know who you are (jk)
• My job no matter how crappy it is it gives me other opportunities
• My socks, they keep my toes warm
• Random crazy ppl, they entertain me

Okay that's enough for now. ttyl!

Just a Quickie haha

Soo...I've been on more the passed couple days due to issues we've been having but I am still not going to be on as much till nov 27. Black friday lol.

I'm am doing well for the most part. I've realized my vocabulary isn't quite as broad as I would like. Well more that I don't use as many words as I would like. I know enough i just don't think to use certain words very often. Basically I need the practice! I should start writing more. Do you think it would help...no not really unless i forced myself to use words I'm not accustomed to. Like that haha! I need to study more in general though... It's on my to do list...which is why I was taking the hiatus in the first place, to clear up my to-do list a bit. However, it seems like I'm not getting much accomplished. I just keep going a little at a time and it will get done but probably not as soon as I would like. I can only hope.

Another reason I took my all too short hiatus was to once again find some inner peace. I completely failed there. Ha! Yeah.... I don't think I'll find much peace till I get some of the stuff on my to-do list cleared off...probably not even then.

I'm going to start finalizing some of the items I've been working on from the test page when I get the time. I hope it will look ok since I kinda suck at that sort of thing. haha...

In case I don't post again in the next 7 days.... Happy Thanksgiving!

One Tree Hill on Blu-Ray

www.petitionspot.com/petitions/onetreehillbluray/

The Official Word

I'm going to be taking a hiatus from...well pretty much everything except work. Then again...I'm very close to quiting my job at this point lol so maybe even from work as well. I'll be checking my email everyday around 2:30-3 pm. I have my cell phone with me 24/7 so if you need me for anything please let me know. I need to reorganize the chaos that has become my life. a little chaos is no big deal but things have been spiraling out of control for too long now. I'll try not to be gone long.

Take care kids.

<3

Sakura

holy $#!7?!

I'm sure the title is what you're thinking. But bear with me...I'm changing somethings around that have needed to be changed for a long time. In an effort to balance things out the chat has been reset and the staff is being reviewed by trusted friends of Darkness. I know not everyone will be absolutely happy with the changes but we will be doing our best to satisfy as many as we can while working toward making darkness more balanced. I ask that you bear with us during this process and direct all questions, comments or concerns to me at my email (chibasakura121@gmail.com), or in a comment on this blog post.

Thank you so much for your help and understanding

~Sakura~

November?!

It's really November...wow...October really went fast. It went so fast that i now have 3 late library books. ^_^' Don't worry I'm taking them back in the morning. Well technically it is morning so later.

I'm sure you've noticed the front page looking a little...plain. Well it's just temporary. I'm still working on things but soon you'll see things changing around. If you have any ideas for the main page please let me know in an email or comment here. Seriously if you have any ideas let me know and I'll see what i can do.

Hope you all had a great Halloween / Samhain. With permission I would like to share some pictures that Ryan (night_rayne) took that sound rather interesting. I haven't seen them yet but plan on it and I've heard quite a bit about them. However I have to ask him first and he's kinda hard for me to catch. ^_^'

Anyway that's all I have for you guys. Take care!

Sakura

Contest winners!!

Second Place was Haley and Keri with :

H-Hailing the nights of jet black
A-allowing the mysterious smells consume us
P-Pushing my hair back behind my ears
P-Playing with my hand, fidgeting oh so look back quietly
Y-yelling your name and smiling when you come into view
H-Holding back feelings so strong to the right time.
A-All eyes setting on us.
L-Lending a hand, blaming eternity.
L-Laying eyes upon the crowd. Searching for you.
O-Opening eyes, smiling lips.
W-Welling of hearts, beating with love.
E-Eying hands, gripping passions.
E-Endless passion, taking on new currents.
N-Nodding and talking. Your hand so tight on mine.
D-Dreaming sleepless nights,
A-Awakening to no one.
R-Rendering the fast pulse,
K-Knitting the heart, always felt like you weren't really there.
N-Needing your touch, never complying with it.
E-Eternal heartache
S-Slipping away
S-saying all I want is for it to be over

And In first place was Damon with:

Happily Scaring
And Definitely Sharing
Perhaps We Laugh
Pursue Quietly
You Jump Into Me Silently

Hallowicked it be the time
And today we rhyme
Laughing jump out from darkness
Laughing you hit my smartness
Oh how you scare to easily
Wearing a mask of squeezily
I chase you through the hall
Clown quickly around then fall
Killer I was now I hurt
Ever so shyly I ripped my shirt
Damon needs attention

Now you run to me with aww
As I try to move to crawl
To get to you is a must
Another Angel I trust
She attends my wound
Hurry more kids are at the door
And forever remember the smores

Congratulations to you both!

hey kids! Halloween contest!

I plan on changing things around a bit soon. However work is supposed to be picking up soon. It wont for long though perhaps a month. I'll be working on it when I can. I think I have a new web host as soon as I get it completely figured out. In the mean time expect to see me testing certain things here and there. I hope things will be up and running soon. Also I went to the public library and picked up a book on podcasting. I'll see what I can do with that but don't get your hopes up for anything spectacular. That's it for now time to get too the cool stuff.

~Sakura~

===============================================

CONTEST!!!

leave a comment or send me a message containing an acronym poem that spells out HAPPY HALLOWEEN. If you want to add another word like DARKNESS at the end you may but it will not give you an edge over those that don't. If you do not know how to write an acronym poem a lame example has been provided below or you can just search for it. Don't worry if you're bad at rhyming, you're poems do not have to rhyme.

Rules!

• Your poem must be 100% original written by you! Plagiary will not be tolerated!
• You may ask for help but must credit the person that helped you
• Collaborations will be accepted but the prize will be split up accordingly.
• This contest is not open to guests! Sorry guys...

Send entries to ChibaSakura121@gmail.com

Prize 250 xats and 10 days or more!

-donations toward a bigger prize are appreciated Send me a message for details-

For those non registered that wish to enter make a request and I'll see what I can do for you

Deadline: October 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm Eastern Standard time (USA)

Example!!!

Sometimes silly

Always fun

Kyandi is good but not chili

Unusually likes puns

Really cares about you guys

Affectionately would make you pies

frozen sakura!

Sssooo cold!! Just making a quick blog post and i have no idea what i'm going to say in it! Things have been slow lately and not only in Darkness. As it gets colder the quieter things become. I've been bored so much lately yet I keep busy. I think it's more that i want someone to talk to. I don't know. Anyway I'm off! c'ya kids.

Seems we've been hacked...yet again...ugh -_-'
You'll be able to find me at http://xat.com/chat/room/44862680/ until the issue is resolved

UPDATE: It's been resolved but the chat has been reset so...don't bish about being a greenie till i can get things back to normal

oh look a new post

I've said this several times tonight...this morning...When I started darkness I never thought that I would have to write an essay about each and every rule to explain things. Now I know that I do have to explain things more because not everyone sees things the way I do and it doesn't do anyone any real good just to say "because I said so".
Taken from blog post "ahh confusion and rules" posted August 4, 2009

No real need to say it again huh? I'm sorry it irritates me when people argue with me about the rules...Ryan, though I know you don't read this often but I hope you see it this time. I'm sorry for snapping at you. You were just asking for clarification which usually doesn't bother me. I don't know why I reacted like that. It was wrong of me. If you want me to take this down all you have to do is ask I just couldn't think of any other way to leave a message for you. I wasn't ignoring you before you left I got called to help others.

For everyone else, Sorry I haven't posted anything or even been on so much lately. My adopted grandmother's been in the hospital and one of my father's employees quit. So my mother's been working in their place...everything else has fallen back on me and it's kind of exhausting...I don't know why it's not that hard...I haven't felt well rested in 2 weeks at least. All I do is take care of my younger siblings clean and cook. No big deal right? It's just...difficult to keep up with it all I guess...but once again I don't fully understand why....Plus it doesn't change the fact that I'm exhausted.

In Darkaness news it's been requested that I put up a Halloween background which I might when I get the chance. If you have anything in mind leave me a comment. Also, I have a mini-contest in mind that I will be posting here eventually. I already know what I'm going to do it's a matter of having the time to do it. ^_^

Now something interesting for you to read!

This is the story of the most foolish traveler in the world.

Once upon a time, there was a foolish traveler who had gone on a journey. why was he foolish? well, because he was fooled by everyone he met!

everywhere he went, people made up all kinds of sad stories to tell him, and the traveler fell for every one of them.

please, some money for medicine…?
i have a sick younger sister…
i don’t have money to buy seeds to plant in my fields.

pretty soon, his money, his clothes, even his shoes had been cheated away from him.

however, the foolish traveler was always glad to help. for everyone of them, he’ll smile and say, “i wish you happiness.”

but by this point, the traveler was completely naked, and with nothing left to cover himself, he decided to leave the main road and travel through the dense forest, where no one could see him…

soon, he was discovered by the goblins that lived in the woods. the goblins wanted to eat the traveler’s body, so they begged and pleaded, and used kind words to try and trick him…

of course, the traveler was fooled. first, he let the goblins eat one of his legs. then an arm. then more and more…before it was over, all that the traveler had left was his head. he’d even given his eyes away to the last of the goblins…

and as the last goblin was eating the traveler’s eyes, he turned and said “thank you, traveler. in return, i leave you this present.”

what the goblin left was a slip of paper, with the word “fool” written on it. the traveler couldn’t see it. he didn’t know what it was. even so, tears began to flow down his face. “thank you,” he said. “this is the first present anyone ever gave me. i’m so happy. i’m so happy. thank you.”

even without his eyes, he cried and cried great tears of joy. then, the traveler died, with a smile on his face.

and that’s…the end of the story.

i close my eyes and think about him a little bit longer. i think about how he had given everything away, until all he had left was his head…and how at the end, he still cried for joy as he said thank you.

and then i realize…i feel sorry for him.

see? loss, hardship, things like that? you can’t only focus on them. the traveler didn’t…he never thought about his own troubles at all.

i imagine that it probably does sound really foolish to some people. but i don’t think he’s foolish at all. even though other people probably think he was being tricked? i don’t think he was. i think he did exactly what he wanted to do.

i think, more than anything, he just wanted to make others happy.

what do you think? really? is that foolish? when you close your eyes and think about it, is that what it is?

---taken from episode 11 of Fruits Basket to see it with pictures click here

I wish I wasn't so selfish...

This post probably wont be up for long...I don't really like posting so much about my personal life here. That's not why you guys come here anyway ne?

Take care,
~Sakura~

wrote this one darkness comments found it amuzing

I wrote this on http://xat.com/darkness a while back on comments. I thought the ending was funny. So I decided to share the laughter

In every dream that follows, a shadow may occur Through pain & bliss, you are utterly obscure Lost at will with no one to blame but yourself You seek redemption but get trapped in an personal h3ll Don't judge me when you have no fcking right Look at me with disguise when you have no sight I belong here this is my place of reason Drama filled at times but it will pass like season With new life comes new people to share this random Reeses Cups, Nevermind I lost track as to where I was wanting to go with this rhyme.

Quote Love

In a kind of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them valour and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are surprised to find traitors in our midst. We castrate the gelding and expect it to be fruitful.
--C.S. Lewis
The Abolition of Man

One of my favourite quotes. Just thought I'd share! Tell me what you think of it.
~Sakura~

bad bad poetry

Soo... Today I'm going to a friend's birthday party (her birthday is on Monday though) and I don't have a gift for her because well I'm broke so I wrote her a bad poem for her birthday. (Thank you Poi.) I will get her a proper birthday gift when I get paid but I'm not telling her that... :p Anyway so here it is in all it's lame glory!

Today is not your birthday
It is still several hours away
You will finally be 21
I hope it is really fun
Too bad I have no money
I might have gotten you a bunny.
The money fairy is late
But I'm sure the cake is great
I know this gift is lame
but just be glad I came
I could have stayed home
And I'd much rather be in Rome
And you would rather have a gift
Look to others for that if you catch my drift
I guess I should end this silly poem
Oh look a line that doesn't rhyme
I Just have one thing left to say
Hope you have a Happy Birthday!

I can't keep going like this... I'm exhausted...

Wake Me Up When September Ends

goodbye summer

September already?! It's already starting to cool off here. Had to drain the pool a few days ago. T.T I'll miss swimming. There's already Halloween stuff out in stores already!! Isn't that kind of sad? Or is it just me? I can feel the seasons changing...can you? Though technically the season doesn't change till the equinox on the 22 according to my calendar. (yes, I had to look I don't remember dates well.) Persephone will soon be heading back to underworld. Poor Demeter.

~Sakura~

Guess who?

Wow...Linux is something else.... lol It's not so bad now that I'm starting to get the hang of it. I've only had a few compatibility problems but nothing major. woo!

So...i've been reading this manga....and it's really interesting and the art is really well done. It's called Vampire Juuji kai or Record of the Fallen Vampire. It's really not what your thinking. It's not one of those Twilight-esk stories this one is a whole lot more interesting and orriginal. There's a lot of mystery and stratagy involved. It may even have too many twists and turns. I like it but that's just me. ^_^'

I am...content...for now and that's really all I can even dream of asking for but perhaps I've been letting my guard down too much as of late. When I let my guard down people get hurt...i don't want that.

~Sakura~

geek pains

I want to take my computer and throw it out the window into the street bellow -_-' but i wont! :D I'm having a hard time getting it to work properly again so I'm trying linux instead of windows(I'm using a smaller partition for windows at the moment, linux has the bigger partition)....my wireless card wont work with linux... so i've gotten 2 ethernet cables that would reach the 20+ feet from here to the internet box... the first one didn't work at all...the second one worked (sort of) but it was REALLY REALLY slow... <.< so now I'm off to find yet another ethernet cable... I have to buy my little brother a gift for his birthday anyway...

~Sakura~

Letter Seventy-Nine (Return to the Willows)

Underneath the stars, a moon of full glow I return beneath the willows where this road first started off. The grass is wet but the road is dry I wondered if the grass has kept all my tears I have cried on those days here from the past. In a place of surrounding darkness it will always be great to be here where I can always have that single beam from the moon shinning down in my world of love. The willows are still perfect and beautiful and they all still have our name written down the path in a perfection of carving. It will always be in this place, where you can feel most safe from the dangers of life; it will always be this place that can embrace your tears so that your love for all of time will remain within. I remember walking out from the trees always looking back wondering if I should even leave in the first place. I just kept stopping and turning around with a warmth of the feeling that I wasn’t alone there; maybe I was alone yet maybe I was never alone in the first place or maybe I just felt alone because you never were right there beside me. Questions still plaque every part of my heart but still I never doubt the love we have shared for this searching to belong that has always driven us too deeply for one another. What I have waited to give to you all of my life still remains right here in this place of solitude. It is going to rain in a little while, there is no thunder heard, no lightning seen, and there is no clouds occupying the skies above but I know that it will still rain. It always rains here more than any other place on earth, here in this place it will always rain and it is the greatest touch of life that can fall from the sky. It’s warm and soft and when it covers me I get that feeling like I always do. That within us both there is something greater beyond our control that makes us complete. Here I am, here I will stay and here you will always find me; always waiting and always yours.

Fire Inside a Broken Heart

This sounded like it would have been a great Poem or song. But I haven't written it yet. I guess I shall soon.

Follow me on Blogspot .Dani3l.Damon.
Follow us on Blogspot Sakura/Damon

Want to know the newest blogs and updates? Subscibe or Email us and we will sign you up on the email list.

Thanks <333333,

Damon & Sakura

I might be gone for a day or two due to computer complications. In other words I'm redoing my computer...yet again. -_-' Which is likely to take a while. I think I'll be switching mostly to linux but keeping windows in a small partition for things that wont run on linux. We'll see how that goes. wish me luck...the last time I had to re-do this thing i didn't think it was ever going to work and was trying to figure out a way to get a new computer without paying much for it...But that's a different story. Anyway ttfn

btw damon i replied to your comment in the previous post.

<3

~Sakura~

Take me away Blue Tide

I adore this song. It's kind of peaceful. It's Blue Tide by Matt Ledford. He was an amazing guy for those that knew him. I don't know how long I'm going to leave it up so enjoy it while I do. "The anchor is up pull me to sea. It's been so long, smile for me."

There's not too much going on. Well a little but nothing too major. Last night there was some major doodling going on in Darkness. It was fun to watch. We have some really talented people in darkness. One person came in and just started doodling over everything that was there. I know they couldn't see it but that's still bad doodle etiquette. Oh well it happens I guess. Any way i'll post some pictures of what was doodled at the bottom.

In the mean time, I've been getting complaints about certain users breaking rules while I'm away and getting all kinds of screen shots. I don't really know what to do about it though. If no one's on to enforce the rules then no one's going to follow them. Very few people respect the rules enough to follow them when there's no one enforcing them. In a way it says something about them though.

I'm still playing with the html for below the chat. I'm having a hard time finding a place to host the iframes that xat doesn't have blocked. I"m not even sure the iframes will work though someone said they would. I don't really want to continue to mess with it if it's not going to work. However it was fun to get a little html practice in. I picked up a book at the library about it and it was interesting to toy with some of the stuff in the book. So for now rearranging the main tab of Darkness is on hold.

Well that's all I have for you guys for now. Thanks for reading.
~Sakura~




Mana, Tyler,

Poi -unfinished version-

insert catchy title here

Hey kids! What's new?
Once again I'm getting myself in WAY over my head but I don't care! I'm gonna try to mess with the front page of the chat a bit. I guess we'll see how that turns out later.

ahh confusion and rules

I've said this several times tonight...this morning...When I started darkness I never thought that I would have to write an essay about each and every rule to explain things. Now I know that I do have to explain things more because not everyone sees things the way I do and it doesn't do anyone any real good just to say "because I said so". So If there is a dispute in the rules. Whatever it is just don't do it until you ask me. I will get back to you as soon as I can.

book measurements!

For those of you who wanted the measurements of the pages in my book. Yup this is for all one of you out there.

In inchies 8.25 x 5.25
or you could turn it sideways and double the 5.25 to 10.5
If you're not an inches kinda person you're gonna have to convert it yourself. :D If you're interested in sending me something for the book let me know!

another post and no new comments woo!

I got a new router woo! It looks kind of like an alien robot thing lol. The flashing lights distract me. O.O must...stare....huh? oh yeah...I'm looking for a new ISP (for those that don't know it means internet service provider). But there's not much to choose from. There's comcast's broadband, verizon's dsl, ydail and bridgemax wifi and vaerious dail up providers. We have wifi right now and we would like something faster and less choppy. We can't get dsl in our part of the city because the wiring is too old or something. Comcast doesn't want to haggle with us and we don't want to pay what they're offering. So we're kind of stuck with wifi at the moment. Yay in cooperative bas...kets...yeah... let's go with that...

wtf is up with so many people popping out babies at once. It seems like all my female friends are pregnant or think they might be. @_@ Most of my friends are crazy...maybe a little less than myself but I'm not sure they should be breeding...I'm scared...oh the demon offspring they could have... x.x

On a different note... HI!!!! I'm a little hyper! I haven't heard much going on. A while back I got a call from bella about posting a stickam thingy bellow the chat. It might be a good idea but I have some requirements. It has to be a stickam account for Darkness that all owners have the password to. Only mods and owners operating it. Whatever music played or whatever is said has to be within darkness rules as much as possible. Try to play a variety of music. Not everyone likes the same kind of music ya know. I'm not going to post it on the main page. It will be in one of the other tabs. Does that sound reasonable?

that's all for now c'ya <3

computer issues

Soo...Hey kids! Just letting you know I probably wont be on much due to computer problems. Until I can get it fixed (or get a new one) I wont be on much but if there's a problem don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be in touch as much as I can.

oh the blog that no one reads

very very few people read this thingy le sigh that's why for a while i took it down only a couple people noticed. Anyway i gots some stuff i need to tell you about but I can't right now. One is the mini contest and some chat issues that need to be addressed. So be looking forward to that. It will be up as soon as I get a few moments to post it.

O.O

I'm soooooo tired but I thought i should post something. I haven't been able to even turn my computer on in several days and my next full day off is saturday. then after that who knows. I'll be on when I can if you need me you'll figure out how to get in touch with me. c'ya later kids

book

The book I've been working on. You guys are welcome to contribute. Let me know if you want to. Mini contest coming soon.

thinking

I'm thinking about deleting the blog... I'm also kind of thinking about leaving darkness...xat...I can't hardly stand being in my own chat anymore...
If not for the extreme loneliness I feel I probably would have left a long time ago. I don't really see the point in working on it anymore...wasting my time and energy on things that no one cares about...Stressing out over something that I can't even call mine anymore...I don't even feel welcome there half the time. But don't worry...it's just a thought

Doubt

Things seem to be getting more and more...complicated today....and I don't know what to do.

As for audio blog thingys...I doubt I will be doing anymore...It seems to be a whole lot more trouble than it's worth.

People tell me they miss the "old darkness" and it really didn't make a lot of since to me at first. Then I thought it was the people a lot of the firt regulars don't come around much anymore. I don't really think that was it either. Or maybe it was a combination of things. I think a main reason why things have changed is because we've gotten so uptight about the rules. In the beginning there were only a few rules. But people kept taking more and more advantage of me and there were more and more complaints until things became like they are now. Sure we still have fun sometimes but not quite like we used to, correct? Like when we were a little more lax about the rules? Sometimes things are so uptight that I just have to leave for a while because it's too stifling for me the one who wrote the rules.

When I wrote the rules I really felt like most of them were needed but are they now?
But if I ease up on the rules a bit people will just take advantage even more. People often go way overboard with things.

I feel like changing a couple rules but I'm not all too sure about it. I don't really think I'm doing it for the right reasons. Not so much because of anyone in particular. I'm just so absolutely sick and tired of people fighting with me about the rules. I've always felt that most of the rules were simple etiquette for a public chat room. Maybe I'm just way too old fashioned... If I do change the rules now I don't think that it will be because that is really how I want my chat to be run but just to quell the arguments. Also it will look like I'm doing it because of one or two particular people. I don't really care what people think of me but I don't want anything to happen to them because of me. For now I will wait and see if I change my mind or not.

But is this even my chat anymore? I'm not so sure.
All I know for certain at this very moment is I'm tired, so very tired.

Sweet dreams.

adio/video blog thing

This is for you lazy dorks that don't like to read!!
sound is sucky sorry.

madlib bordom madness

Letter From Camp Dear uncle skip, I am having a(n) annoying time at camp. The counselour is tiny and the food is tall. I met skank and we became smelly friends. Unfortunately, skank is bishy and I farted my gina so we couldn`t go sleeping like everybody else. I need more houses and a cat sharpener, so please raunchily secksing more when you lurk back. Your hobo, Me

Greetings, Earthlings! In the book War of the condoms, the main character is an anonymous house wife who records the arrival of lions in center of the earth. Needless to say, havoc reigns as the lions continue to hump everything in sight, until they are killed by the common tv.

I'm planning on doing an audio blog since I got yet another new headset. I got to use the last one once before it stopped working and i sent it back. So look foward to that tough it will probably be weird and full of mistakes but for those who have never heard my voice you get to now! :o oh my. I'm told I sound really really young though. Bleh. oh well

I also plan on changing a few things on darkness the background and a few other things. I think I'm going to add a rule. NO more flippin begging for xats or days. That drives me crazy. We'll see suppose. When i get the time to do it and remember to do it.

I'm also thinking about bringing back Japanese lessons. What do you think? I'm getting a book about teaching Japanese maybe that will help. People often ask me to teach them Japanese so it would probably be easier this way non?

There's a lot going on in my life at the moment though. It seems like everyone around me is getting married and/or having kids! I just found out that two of my cousins are pregnant. One is 18 weeks pregnant and I just found out. A girl i went to high school with just had a baby. Several people that I knew well have gotten married and my own brother's wedding is set for mid July. Workwise, I was just pretty much garenteed another 500 hours for the place I currently work. Also i was told I should apply for a customer service center that is opening up here. I don't really either job is where I should be but I think I'll just stick with what I've got till I find what it is I should be doing.

Though I have no fondness for twilight i love this: (this may not make much sense if you haven't seen the movie but it's funny either way)



c'ya kids

chaos

There's a lot going on right now but things seem to be slowing down a bit at work. ( I hope they're not gonna fire me!!) However things at home seem to be picking up. Things with darkness seem to be slowing down....I'm so lost!!! I haven't been feeling much lately just spending a lot of time just kinda numb....weird huh?

I'm running on a few hours of sleep and it's been a long day but I just wanted to post something even if it is kinda short.

Keri: I hope you come back when you can. We'll all miss you very much! Take care! <3

I love and miss you all and think about you all the time. Be good and if you need anything let me know and i'll do my best to help!

~*Sakura*~

oookay then

I am so Tired!!
It is currently 3:30 Am woo!
Have any of you seen those OBC commercials? I HATE them...almost as much as those weird viagra commercials yuck!

Anyway Not a lot going on with me these days, just working more. Yay paycheck! I think about you guys all the time and wish I could spend more time on darkness chatting with you. I'm so drained lately. It feels like some days I wake up more tired than I was when I went to bed. If you need me for anything find a way to get in touch with me and I'll reply as soon as I can.
I have a lot of things I'd like to do here and with darkness but who knows when I'll actually get to them. <.<>:)

I thought I'd share an interesting link. If you like asian drama(s) or movies you can find them organized at mysoju.com .

And because I'm easily amused I though I'd share:

I kinda want to post a blog but if i keep going I'm so tired I'll say something stupid!

banana ears!

a few short words

There's a harassment issue going on lately I just wanted to say that I will not have it going on in my chat. Come on guys, you should know better than this. I shouldn't even have to be addressing this.

Recently there's been some complaints about the rules. Though I do reserve the right to change the rules at anytime with out notice, most of the rules will more than likely stay the same. For those of you who like to cuss and use caps sorry those rules are staying. If you have an issue with a rule take it up with me.

Since it's late and I'm having technical difficulties I am going to take my leave now.
ttfn

I've had it!

If you have a fcking problem with me don't be a coward and talk about me while I'm gone!!Fcking take it up with me!

People are so petty sometimes.... You know if you really feel all that wronged if you just talked to me like a rational human being then I might apologize. People seem to think I'm some sort of major btch monster. And though there are times when I wonder if it's not true but I'm pretty sure it's not. If anything I'm far too sensitive and care WAY too much what people think so I usually just keep to myself. I have my flaws I know then again who doesn't?

Nelson wonders why I treat him differently than Ethan. They both can be kinda a$$hole-ish. I kept trying to say that I don't really treat them differently but maybe I do and if I do I think I know why. It's because Ethan treats me different... He treats me like a fcking human being with feelings and all that. And when he and I talk it's not just about Darkness. Though it is usually the main reason he at least asks how I am. Meanwhile Nelson just yells and cusses at me. It's fustraiting and it kinda hurts my feelings. I try so hard to be nice to him but it seems so impossible when someone treats you like that.

At the moment I kind of feel a bit betrayed and hurt with my whole chat. It seems like no one really wants me there, like I'm not welcome in my own chat. When people were saying these things that were said earlier... no one stood up for me...except maybe Ethan...and that kinda hurts. I considered some of these people to be good friends but a real friend would stand up for their friends right? Or am I just being too old fashioned again? Is it outdated to stand up for people you care about? Is it outdated to care about other people?

I'm kinda feeling like there's no one I can really trust anymore...first my best friend talks about me behind my back...then my other best friend does the same thing...and what about everyone in my chat?

Just because I can't be online all the time anymore doesn't mean I'm gone. I'm sorry I've been so busy but times are tough and I have to try to get by and I spend a lot of time working and trying to make ends meet. I'll try to be on more.

I'm only human.

short blog

Sorry I don't have much time to type this. I'm going to try to keep it pretty short so I'm not late for work. I really don't want to go but i kinda have to. I'm tired and I don't feel so well. Have I been pushing myself too hard? Prolly not. Though I am really really considering quitting so I could attend evening classes at a university. I don't know if I should though. Right now I don't really have the money to enroll for classes but my parents would help me pay for it. They really want to see me further my education. Maybe the timing just isn't right at the moment. I either should have quit a long time ago or I'm just going to wait till they're about to fire me (probably at my next review). As I'm getting more hours at my second job the more I realize how wrong I am for that job and how much I HATE it. It was different before December. I don't know what changed about the job exactly but I almost liked it there and now I can't stand it. A lot of people have already quit and left that place but I don't know if it's my time to yet, though there are tiems while at work I just want to walk out and not come back. Any advice?

hey kids and non kids...

I want to try posting blogs every other day or every couple days just to let people know I'm alive, not that anyone reads this... I start blogs all the time but something often comes up half way through kinda like this time x.x
I have to go. I plan on trying to be on more but i make no promises. I plan on changing the backgrounds and stuff soon.
I need sleep
night all

i'm not leaving just busy with work i just wanted to make that clear

I don't have much to say really. I've been keeping busy. My office is being moved wich i'm worried about. My brother's getting married...i think...idk about it....

It snowed here a LOT and we're expecting more. bleh.

Yes, I'm still alive.

Letter Twenty-Two

I haven't dreamed in a while seems like but usually when I do, it's painful. I sometimes see my grandma there with the world ending on one side and on the other pure bliss. I have always been terrified to die, the world ending and how it ends is more scary then anything ever imaginable. I always woke up crying because maybe she's there really, maybe heaven exists and she's letting me know that. Makes me wonder, you know, if I became a billionaire and helped save countries or even find the cure for aids or something great like that, would that be enough to get me into heaven or is what I have done not enough to forgive. I rather live in heaven or hell then to not exist in the afterlife. Hell is nothing; my soul can't be touched with pain. They say when you go to hell your soul burns for eternity and in heaven it's Shangri-la and for the few lost souls that haven't made it yet walk the earth on a different plain but what if you didn't exist at all? What if when you die? You die nothing after that ending. I have read you my inner thoughts throughout my life but when it comes to death, I shake and tear up the most. What's worse than dying? Dying alone and I don't want to die alone. If you are not the one for me or ever feel that love just isn't enough and that we can't do anything to fix it, just promise me you'll let me know because I don't want to pretend to be happy. I have enough love to brighten the stars and if you don't want that, then I'm not going to give that to you but there will always be part of you in me. Love never dies, it may fade and it may lose touch but it never dies. I have lost some people around me to the "afterlife" and I still love them like they never got taken away. I hope that when I do die, not only will I not be alone, not only will there be that plain to exist more but that the love I have that brightens those stars, fall upon the earth and spread like fire through every single soul and leaves a mark on you all, like a crater crashing down. Don't forget who I was or who I am today.
This message is from who I am going to be after I die. I want you to know that I love you and that I have to say that every chance I get because you never know when our time is going to be up. I miss you...

Love Always,

Daniel

-.from.her.to.me.-

I remember the times we would fight, just for fun, so we could have make-up time. That's when I knew we were the best together and you were weird, more than I was. It still makes me smile knowing there were no times that we were in regret from knowing one another. I feel most of the time we spend going out we would make the couples around us better and maybe even jealous because we were never mean to anybody. I thank God everyday for what he brought to me from day one, that one thing we both were searching for but never seen that it was right there. The first time we held hands, first time we kissed, first time we made love, first time we laid underneath the moon and stars on the hill by the church; those will always remain right here in my heart wanting more of you every day. You are always the light shinning in my eyes when your name mentioned and when I needed you, you were never out of reach; only to find out that you wanted me too is possibly amazing like a shooting star. School, work, time after time I would find you there on my mind thinking of what we mean to each other. I am glad to have met you my love and for you to share all these same feelings makes me happier each passing day. I will never forget the love we shared, not for one second because you Dan have given me life beyond any dream. I Love You!
Those words remain with me today and always will because those are the last words she said to me. Knowing she has changed my life and whatever happens therefore after I know it will be because of what she thought of me, how she looked at me and what she gave me. I will love you too for the rest of my days and I will always keep strong and look forward to that day we are united once again for all eternity. I Love You!

.my.life.story.haunted.

“I guess I should've said something... anything... I mean, for a guy who wants to be a writer, it suddenly seemed like no words had ever been written. But when someone tells you that they somehow stopped missing you, you're pretty much screwed, no matter what you say.”

Quote

“When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, who will you choose to face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise? And will their love for you help them to guide you to the light? Or will they lose their way in the darkness. Will they make noble choices or will that person be someone untested? Someone new? Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness. When it does - is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who'll watch over you when you stumble and fall and in that moment give you the strength to face your fears alone.”

NATASHA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! SMILE!!! LIFE IS ALWAYS BETTER WHEN YOU SMILE!!!

<3 DAMON

I don't have anything to say...

I just feel like I should say something...anything... Just let you know I'm still here...

Anymore every time I'm here I end up leaving in tears...


another song on my heart:

We - Kristine Sa

We (plz excuse the mistakes it was typed out in a hurry)
by Kristine Sa

I can still hear your voice on the phone
i can still recognize your cologne
i can identify your low tone
when we're alone
i can still smell your scent on my sheets
the comfortable silence we keep
when we didn't need to speak

I wanna know you can watch me cry
cuz i cared for you even though i try
and every part of me wants to surender my pride

do you still remember what we used to be
what we used to be
what we were to each other
cuz i recall so clearly
we used to be a we

I can still sing the song that was playing
i can recite the prayers i was praying
but no one up there was paying atention at all
because you took back what you saught
without doubt without fear without thought
and i was left here with nothing but knots and tears on the wall

so i wanna know how you can watch me cry
cuz i cared for you even though i tried
and i just want to surender my pride

do you still remember what we used to be
what we were to each oter
because i recall so clearly
we sued be a we
oooh i remember
when we

do you still remember
ooh what we used to be
what we were to each other
cuz recall so clearly
ooh
do you still remember
ooh
what we used be
and what we were each other
cuz i recall so clearly
we used to
be

is it pathetic that i don't feel welcome in my own chat anymore?

Saku

I don't know your name, where you come from or where you life has been but what I do know is part of who you are from what I have seen. It's not even close to who you actually are deep inside but it's enough to know that somewhere around the madness that surrounds you there is a great person. With caosity and the cruel world around us all I feel that you are the hardest person for me to reach. We talk with this understanding that you are you over there and I am me over here but why? Why can't we be Daniel and *****? I write and read and so do you. Idk lately you have been growing even more distant and I feel you slipping away from my grips before I even got to chance to really know who you are or what you'll at least tell me. My name is Daniel Jacob Damon, what is yours?

I love darkness, i love these peeps, i love you and I really love Kristen..

Damon

more thoughts i started a while back but never finished

A lifetime of waiting is always worth the happiness when I’m with you as I wait here standing for you to show me just how to smile again. The saddest part of me is the tears that fall when I think of you inside of my heart. Pounding through a breath of fresh air I take you in always so I know that I’m still alive through this searching. A lonely leaves falls to the ground and surrounds an entire covered ground, that’s where that leaf fits in and belongs, that’s where it was meant to fall before the world and takes its place. This reminds me of us in so many different ways as we have belong to the same tree we both fall at different times setting a world or destiny into place and finding each other on top of them all. This is love at its greatest, being drawn in to a life by a force we will never see or truly understand but its right where we belong; right here in this place surrounded by dreams we see but can’t control.

Short post again

Yup another short post for the time being. My laptop is in need of repair and sitting in this room is like sitting in a freezer. It's so cold!!! T.T I can't feel my toes :/ I've been keeping busy with work and such. That's about it. Whatever happened to Damon? Is he okay?

ttyl

my song for the moment: